Skylight Letter #9- Untitled

When a man becomes void of happiness and emotion,

Is there a problem?

When a person cannot find a reason to lift their weary body out of bed,

Is there a problem?

When a man returns to a site in which he found immense pleasure and fulfillment, and now that same sacred place fills him with anger and embarrassment,

Is there a problem?

I feel as if I have hit that low point in my short existence.

The young man who walked with the swagger of a champion,

Now hangs his head low.

His only solace in waking up is knowing he will soon return to lay in his lonely bed of misery.

Nothing more than a hollow shell,

 A timid giant who lost his spark for life.

The same people who admired and respected him now approach him with cautiousness.

His eyes are cold and removed of feeling

His face is blank and uninviting,

And his temper has boiled over.

The loud echo of his voice has now dimmed to a faint whisper.

He lets no one share in his pain.

His grief begins to affect the people he cares for the most.

He refuses to let anyone inside.

He is a caged animal; instead of fighting to free himself, he draws back to the center,

Fending off anyone who tries to come close to his personal house of anguish.

So the lonely one sits.

His thoughts are his only companion.

The Silence is his welcomed friend.

He sits alone trying to find an escape from madness

However, his efforts are in vain

His contemplates that he and his sanity have parted ways long ago.

But he knows the madness will never stop. It will only continue to grow.

Skylight Letter #9

Skylight Letter #8- Chivalry Is Alive

You will all remember where you were on this day because on this day, a miracle occurred…

An incredible act of nature took place never before seen.

On this day, something rose from the dead.

Thought to be dead for hundreds of years; we as human beings must now embrace the fact that…

Chivalry is alive and well.

The blood once again flows through its veins and his lungs fill up with the beautiful air.

And his eyes, which have been closed for far too long, begin to open.

He begins to see…see clearly.

 He starts to speak, to spread the word of life.

When the chivalrous one speaks, every man in the world runs to the nearest phone to call his special

Girl, and then, three billion voices almost unison say…

“I just wanted to call you and tell you I love you…You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”

And now that chivalry lives on once again, the words “B*tch”, “Wh*re”, and  “Sl*t” fade from memory

And drift off into oblivion.

Men begin to write down and record their thoughts…thoughts and dreams so profound that they would

Put Shakespeare and Hughes to shame.

Fathers groom their sons to become a proper gentleman. They pass down wisdom to future generations

So the Decade of The Gentleman can exist for centuries.

Women swoon and thank God that men have finally realized the truth.

And that righteous truth is that a woman’s love and respect outweighs all the money in the world.

We have seen that day in our lifetime, we will rejoice and celebrate and bask in the splendor in which

that day will bring.

Then we wake up.

Skylight Letter #8

Skylight Letter #7-My Apologies

In this day and age, if a man wishes to be addressed as a “gentleman”, there are certain qualities

he should possess.

There exists an unwritten code of conduct he is obligated to follow.

A younger gentleman especially is expected to do many things…

He should be soft-spoken but command respect.

Walk with a certain swagger but never come off as arrogant

He should be poised, well-mannered, confident and have a clear goal in his mind.

He needs to know how to learn so he can one day teach.

He needs to know how to follow so he can one day lead.

He must become a good son so he can become a great father and husband.

But above all else, he should know how to treat a lady…correctly.

But once in a while, this gentleman’s vision becomes clouded.

He loses sight of what is really important and begins to focus on insignificant things.

He might think he is doing this for a good cause, but in her eyes…

The one person who she thought could never let her down just did.

And when he realizes the pain he caused, he loses his focus.

He cannot get through the simplest of tasks without thinking of ways to make it right.

He can’t function without her knowing he is sorry.

But the best thing to do is apologize.

Apologize for the grief, the confusion, the pain.

 Letting her know that if he could talk to her for 60 seconds at night, there would be no need for

the sun, the moon, and the stars because she would outshine them all.

And after the apology is over, he needs to reassure her that as long as there is life in his body,

There will never be a day where he will let you down again.

However, the final and probably the most difficult part is hearing the answer.

Because he know that life is not a bedtime story..it does not always have happy endings.

He knows that it takes time to mend a wounded heart.

So all the gentleman can do at that point is apologize and wait.

And if she does accept, the gentleman will do everything in this life to prove to her that he is

worthy enough to be called “Her Gentleman”

Skylight Letter #7

Skylight Letter #6- The Beautiful Ones

What does the good natured human being have left in life?

In an atmosphere where their hope and virtues are mocked and spit upon.

They try to stay strong.

But day by day, the world takes another small piece of them

How does the spirit remain intact?

 How does an individual keep from losing his sanity?

Most often, they cannot physically run away so they take refuge in the soul

They possess an invaluable gift.

To be able to take the pain, the anguish, the grief and convert into beauty and splendor;

Turn hate into affection.

Change hostility to acceptance.

Produce mercy from intolerance

They prove that the human spirit is the strongest weapon known to man.

This process seems strange and is unknown to millions.

As a result, a sacred practice is met with indifference.

So enjoy the magnificence while it last

They are the last of a dying breed.

Skylight Letter #6

Skylight Letter #5- To Be Called A Man

Any fool can make a baby…

And that fool’s baby will become a little boy,

And that little boy will eventually grow up…

But when…or how does a boy become a man.

As a matter of fact, I don’t think that a boy can “become” a man.

In my opinion, I believe that phase has already occurred.

Just as women possess the gift of intuition, boys are born with this innate sense of understanding

A boy understands that there is a something bigger out there

Something that is worth sacrificing for; and he must prepare for it.

That’s what makes us seem crazy at times.

Boys use that aggressive mentality and we employ it freely

It’s our weapon, our tool, our defense mechanism

We come off as being so callous because we ourselves are very sensitive.

We witness things as boys (not necessarily bad things) that shape our lives.

We see our mothers and fathers work until 11 o’clock at night…come home to four hours of

Sleep only to get up and do it again.

Work double-overtime shifts so they can make sure we have the things we need

We see them talk about bills and taxes…

And that scares us. Because we know that will be us in the not-so-distant future.

Sometimes, it scares us to even think about getting married and bearing children.

But, if you can look past everything,

If you can look past the worries of raising a family and

If you can embrace the anxiety and the uncertainties of life and counter it with hope and understanding,

If you are physically unable to give up on yourself or the ones who look up to you

Then you have earned the right to be called a man…

And you sir, are a better man than I.

Skylight Letter #5

Skylight Letter #4-Aunt Edna

Aunt Edna

            They say you always have to count your blessings because someone, somewhere has it worse. I guess I learned that first hand. May 26^th 2009. The day I was supposed to be celebrating my fourteenth birthday. My day was going great until about 5:30. Traditionally, my father takes the birthday boy out to eat. As we drove along the Southern State heading towards the Grand Lux Café, dad got a call on the cell phone.  By the tone of his voice, I assumed he was talking to one of his friends from work. But as the conversation went on, he uttered something that will stick with me for the better part of my life; “Yeah, I’m alright bro, my aunt just passed away.” I glanced at him then I looked straight ahead with a look of shock and disbelief. It felt like someone stuck a nail in my heart and it sank deeper and deeper with every passing word. When my father hung up the phone, I had to ask him if my Aunt Edna really died (I don’t know what compelled me to say that. I already knew the answer; it was denial, maybe.) But the inevitable answer came out. He said he wanted to wait until after my birthday and graduation to tell me.  But I couldn’t cry. At first I thought there was something wrong with me, but I honestly could not cry. I loved my aunt to death, but all I could do was just sit in silence and reminisce. So I sat in the car and began to think about my Aunt Edna Gothe. I tried to recollect every moment I spent with my aunt and the first thing that came to my mind was her cornbread. Call me gluttonous or insensitive but that is one element about her I will be sure to tell my children about.  Her food was one of the reasons why I was a little on the heavy side as a kid. (Thank God for varsity football) But I sat there with a smile on my face because no one ever went hungry in her house.

            As I began to drift off in my thoughts, my dad and I arrived at the restaurant but instead of the Grand Lux, we went to Hooters which I had absolutely no problem with (they have excellent Barbeque Wings, just saying). As we waited for our food, I glanced at one of the big screen TV’s and they were airing a commercial for the WWE Pay-Per-View SummerSlam. And then, I took solace in my thoughts again. As an eight year old kid, my favorite show was WWE Smackdown (Aunt Edna didn’t have cable, but we still watched and enjoyed it.) We would get excited when our favorite superstars beat the villain. Whenever the villain would speak, she put in her two cents and explained to me how people are supposed be compassionate and righteous in life. Whenever I called her house, wrestling came up one way or the other and we always got upset when we missed a show. I just think of it as one more way it brought us closer.

            After the two-man feast was over, we still had about a half a platter of wings left. We asked the waitress to pack up the food to go. As I saw my dad carry out the Styrofoam cases packed with food, I was reminded of the weekly care packages she sent us. I remember how my parents would tell her not to send so much food and relax. But as caring as my aunt was, she was stubborn as well. Whenever I spent the night at her house, I would always lose track of the time. We could be talking for hours on end and the clock would say 3 o’clock in the morning. Even when I got up in the middle of the night, she would be making pie batter, peeling potatoes, boiling eggs, or doing something. I don’t think she ever slept. But it made her happy knowing that a lot of people grew up on her food.  She would send trays filled with chicken, potato salad, collard greens, and her infamous sweet potato pie (When I was a kid, I ate two slices and slept for about six hours.) It is so ironic that right now, I would kill for Auntie’s cooking or just to talk to her for a little while.

            Before we left, dad and I sat down waiting for the check and he raised his glass in a toast for my birthday. He had a beer, I had Iced Tea, and we clinked our glasses together. It was supposed to be for me, but I was toasting a lady who gave so much in her life and asked so little. I toasted a woman who probably babysat for the entire neighborhood and never charged a penny for it. I toasted a woman who, given one night, could feed an entire military platoon with just the materials in her kitchen. I toasted a lady who had a huge hand in raising every member of my family. On that day, I toasted a woman who worked her whole life and can now finally catch her breath and watch the seeds that she planted grow and thrive. I toasted a woman who I am proud and honored to call my Aunt.

                                                            Skylight Letter #4

Skylight Letter #3- Untitled

Untitled

Why do they come? Why can’t they leave me be?

Do they refuse to heed my warnings?

They intrude my sacred place, they desecrate my respected house

My only desire is to be left alone.

The solitude is bliss. The silence is welcome

Yet the still come.

No matter…their greed and avarice will be their downfall

For I will cast my waters and turn the calm sea in to a savage beast

I will bring them down closer to me

It will be so dreadful; the clouds will tremble with fear and turn a pale sickly shade of gray

I will break their sprits and shatter their souls

So they will feel helpless and alone

Just like me.

Skylight Letter #3

Skylight Letter #2-Starry Nights

Star light, Star bright…

If the first star I find in the night sky can outshine the glimmer in your eyes…

Then I give up, because I have seen all there is to see in this life.

Star light, Star bright…

If the first star I find in the night sky can burn hotter than the flame in body I have when I’m with you…

Then I’ll hang the white flag above my window.

As the young Montague said, the moon and the stars and the sun all pale in comparison to her.

Every day, I wait for the sun to set so I can witness your eyes illuminate the sky again.

So just stare at me for a while…and please don’t blink.

Skylight Letter #2

Skylight Letter #1- "Identity X"

If I call you when it all comes crashing down, will you answer? I do not want to face this all alone

And can you help me stay down to Earth when my body and mind are stuck in the clouds?

If I drift too far, you know as well as I do that I’m not coming back anytime soon

But that is why I’m the dreamer …the one looking at the positives when things look its bleakest.

Well, I guess that’s why we go together so well.

Because with you, what you see is always what you get

But with me, it’s a little different.

I have a different persona for every day of the week and you know how to handle each one.

I can approach you with the “Ne-Yo” gentlemanly kind of swagger…three piece suits and all.

Maybe I can adopt the classic high school varsity football demeanor. I could give you my jersey or my letterman jacket to model for the day…or something like that.

On the off chance that all those do not work, I can come out with the flashy and flamboyant side of me. We can go shopping and act like nothing mattered.

And if all of those fail to meet the standards, I’ll just use the plain old me; the combination of every persona all molded into one. The plain old me is someone who you can talk to if something happens. The plain old me is someone who you can just relax with on the weekends and study with on school days.

Well, it does not matter which one you like because my identity is already completed by you just being in my life.

                                                  Skylight Letter# 1